Terrible (for so many reasons)

I apparently am terrible at this blogging. I'm going to blame it on being homeless and going through the house building process and my grandpa dying and my mom having surgery. Am I excused? I think so. So to make up for it, I will do a confession of why I am a bad mom (to my dog) and why I'm a bit worried if I ever become a "real" mom.

My poor little Foxy is SO itchy. I don't know if she has an allergy to grasses or if there are little sand flies biting her or what. We are in Hayward taking care of my mom as she recuperates from her hip replacement, and so this is a bit of a new environment for Foxy. We walk daily on some great trails, and I religiously check her for ticks, but inevitably she will scratch and scratch all over basically from sun up til sun down.

I went to the feed mill a couple days ago to get a hot spot treatment thinking that would help. Well, she scratched so much in so many spots that I ended up using half the bottle in one night (and it didn't even help). So today I went back and got a calming shampoo and a neem dip. Now neem is this natural oil that is anti-parasitic and anti-bacterial and is supposed to keep bugs away and calm/heal the skin. I am talking to the girl in the store and she says, "You just dilute this with water and massage it into the coat and then just let her air dry." I said yep, ok, I can do that. So I bring her home and carry her into the bathtub - because she is terrified of the tub and basically lays down like dead weight so that I have to scoop her up and carry her into the bathroom. I wash with the shampoo and (this is slick cause this tub has a hand-held shower thing) rinse her off. Then I take the bottle of neem and proceed to squirt it all over her back, tummy, and legs and rub it in. Then I towel her off and bring her outside. Wow, she smells SO strong. I couldn't believe it. She is sneezing and flinging herself all over the yard, rolling violently.

I go back into the bathroom and tidy up and that's when it hits me. Oh crap. I didn't dilute it. I'm a terrible mom. No wonder she is sneezing like crazy. I get on the computer to see if there is some kind of neem toxicity, thinking I have inadvertently poisoned my dog, but find out that it is fine. There are no side effects. Sigh. She is sleeping as I type and I'm still feeling guilty....although, she is sleeping on my bed right next to my pillow so maybe this is payback as I will be smelling neem all night as I sleep.

Homeless

I can't believe it. My house sold. In three weeks. And the lady who bought it wanted to close two weeks after that. What does that mean? It means I am officially homeless. Transient. Hoping with all my heart that this continues to go smoothly with no huge bumps along the way. As I type this, I am living with my friends Kate and Matt and their two boys. We also rented an apartment for a month, but (call me a snob)I just have a little trouble staying there...there is a funky smell and the shower grosses me out. So I wil stay there a couple nights a week to see Brian but will bounce from friend to friend til the driveway goes in and we can get the camper on the land. Then it's camping coziness for the next several months. Foxy and Circe are with their grandpa for the time being, and I am sad not having my dog around... Not feeling quite the same way about my cat. In fact, and yes this is terrible, I told the lady who bought the house that Circe could come with the house if she wanted. Alas, she has a greyhound so it wasn't meant to be. She kept saying how much she liked the cat though, so I thought I should try..... What's next? Getting the bids (another concept that I don't totally get the process which therefore increases my anxiety so Brian is in charge of that) and getting the city to approve the plans. We are having Joe Letko, Integrity Construction do the contracting. Between Joe, the guy helping him, Brian, my dad, me (kinda), and anyoneone else looking for some good old fashioned physical labor, this house should be up by fall. Keep your fingers crossed and if you have been wanting to get outdoors and work up a sweat, I've got a hammer and wheelbarrow for you.

Why Cookie Dough is the Devil (and other glad tidings)

What a difference a month can make! Dad's surgery was a success and the results came back with an affirmative that they caught all of it with the surgery and no chemo or anything else is needed. Just periodic check-ups. Sigh of relief. Then the house sold and the closing date is May 1st...right in the ideal time frame to start building. Another sigh of relief. What does that mean now? Well, I have been packing every night and taking stuff to storage. Brian has been getting all the contractors, plumbers, etc lined up and taking care of permitting and stuff like that. We rented an apartment for a month which Brian is in but I prefer to stay with friends and occasionally will go to the apartment (my snobby side doesn't really want to stay in that place cause it isn't exactly paradise, but what do I expect for a month by month apartment). Then once the driveway is in, we will bring up the camper and live in that for the summer during building. I'll move into the camper after school is out and after mom's surgery. Oh yes, that's right. Now I'll be playing nurse for my mom as she gets a hip replacement. So that puts me in Hayward for the first few weeks after school is out. Probably for the best that I'm not around to see the framing of the house. I imagine that would cause lots of anxiety since I'd have no clue what was happening.

And what about the cookie dough you ask? Well, after moving yet another load this evening, I realized I had to bring treats for an after school thing tomorrow. I have nothing left in my kitchen so I bought a pre-made tub of dough. BAD idea. A tub of dough...what did I think would happen? Did I really think I'd get 36 cookies like the tub suggests? Ummm, looking more like 30 if I'm lucky.

What a Month

I've determined I am a fair-weather blogger. This past month has been overall rather crappy and I just haven't felt like blogging. So I guess the good news is....things must be looking up because I felt like posting tonight. I'm not going to use this as a vent but let me just do a quick list of why the end of Feb/beginning of March sucked. I tore ligaments in my shoulder after a stupid cross country skiing fall and it still isn't back to normal, my car oil pressure light came on and required a shop visit, frustration over the fact that it must have been a cruel joke that I got pregnant right away because me being super fertile doesn't seem to be the case, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, trying to get a house ready to put on the market is incredibly anxiety provoking, and then there was a moment where the whole house deal was going to possibly fall apart and go back to square one (however that crisis was averted thank goodness).

Now I can breathe a bit and look back to see how things do come around and I don't have to worry that there was going to be yet one more thing. The car was fixed and didn't cost me too much, the house is ready and on the market (and we have our first showing on Friday!!!), and dad's surgeon said that after everything is removed there is a very good chance that it will not come back and he won't have to worry about it. I'm taking him to Eau Claire for the surgery on April 6th and staying with him through the 10th or longer if he needs me. I will say that for a self declared "hermit" he does have some good friends who are stepping up and helping out. That relieves me a bit too. I'm not quite sure I will ever quit worrying about it coming back but I'll feel better after we hear how surgery goes.

And I understand that this house project will cause great deals of panic for the better part of a year now, but keeping the end result in mind makes me hopeful. May I just say how I am not meant for keeping a house in "viewing" condition. It's just not in me. I don't care if my toast crumbs are on the cutting board all day and I clean them up later that night (or gasp, the next day). However, I think there is some manual that says no bread crumbs during viewing, as well as making sure your bed is made and clothes/dog toys/water glasses/anything really are not laying around. This is where my friend Sarah has a distinct advantage. She keeps her house spotless really, and at all times. One day I walked on her deck to see her scrubbing her gas grill. I was truly amazed, as the most I have ever done is wire brush my grates and empty the ashes on my charcoal grill. It wouldn't even occur to me to scrub a grill. Keeping a house in viewing condition would not be difficult for her at all. I guess I'll just keep my fingers crossed that it sells quickly.

R.A.K

A random act of kindness happened to me today. I was at Barnes and Noble this evening picking up a couple books to share with my kids at school who are on my Battle of the Books team. After getting the books (and after a quick but fruitful stop at Old Navy) I headed out to my car. Near B&N is a Culvers....and for anyone else who has tried their fish sandwich, you will understand when I say that this sudden and un-ignorable urge to have one said sandwich came over me. Having a terrible argument in my head over why it was terrible for me to get one (the voice said, "Come on fatty, you do NOT need a greasy fish sandwich") versus why I should certainly get one (the voice said, "You eat so healthy all the time, don't you think you've earned it"), I decided that yes, I was really hungry and I was just going to get one. So I'm waiting in line and in this car in front of me, someone is pointing to the wall right before the pick up window. I'm thinking about how weird that is and that maybe there is some crazy bug or something on the wall or that someone has strapped explosives to the side of the building and I am going to die waiting in line for a fish sandwich I probably shouldn't even be eating, but when I pull forward, I see that there is a sad looking carnation on the ledge with a post-it note saying something like "Have a great day". Judging by the signature and handwriting it looked like it was from a kid. How cute, I thought. Just a little something to make people smile. Then it was my turn to go to the window and as I rolled down my window the guy says, "The car in front of you just paid for your food. And he wanted me to give you this." He handed me a folded piece of paper. I was pretty much speechless, and said thank you and read the note. It said that this wasn't a gimmick and that it was just something he had heard on a local radio station talking about a "drive through difference" and maybe I might want to pay it forward. How awesome was that! I guess I was supposed to get that fish sandwich and damn, was it good.

Now in full disclosure I have to add the following. The local radio station was one of the Christian stations. I decided that I was supposed to not only pay it forward, but also take a little lesson out of the experience. I decided that I should be a little less quick to assume the worst from organized religion, and maybe first think that maybe that person is a very accepting and open-minded Christian who believes all people are equal and worthy of love. And hopefully I won't be proven wrong.....

If Only I Had Remembered My IPhone

Apparently I'm on a roll of poor choices, specifically concerning my after work exercise plans. Today I made the mother of all mistakes....I forgot my IPhone in the car. What does that mean? Well, it meant that as I got my clothes and shoes on and my contacts in and as I was looking for my headphones, it dawned on me that my phone was in the car. This then meant that I would be forced to watch (silent) TV while I did the elliptical. Now let me preface this by saying that I had JUST got done telling someone at school how much I hate the gym and the only way I make it through the hour is by watching TV on my phone. Right now I am totally absorbed in Glee (don't hate me or think badly of me).

So I tried to have a positive attitude and told myself that it was actually a good thing because then I would run on the treadmill instead since I didn't have to watch anything. I walk in the fitness room and of course all the treadmills are being used. Christ. Well, I guess I'll just do the elliptical anyway and watch the silent TV. Nope-all the ellipticals are taken too. You've got to be kidding. So I am then forced to go on an elliptical type thing where your arms don't have anything to do. Ok, ok. I'll make it. And then I look up at the silent TV. It is CNN and they are covering the latest round of republican caucuses. Good god, could this get any worse.  Oh yes it can!  I am about 15 minutes in and this guy walks over to the girl next to me and they launch into a 15 minute conversation on their respective careers and living situations as they must have gone to UMD together and then left and now are apparently both back in Duluth (thank god) with jobs in the areas they graduated in. Happy days! This girl was LOUD so I got to hear everything, including her political beliefs, "I am going to get Obama elected this year" and "I really respect the shit out of Ron Paul....I mean he has real integrity". Well, at least she wasn't republican.

As I'm trying to ignore her, well I couldn't so I was still listening but also reading the closed captioning on the silent TV, I see candidate Santorum at this church and am reading about how he is for religious freedom. This seems slightly ironic....or maybe an oxymoron? How can a man who thinks Christians created equality and who seems to have a major problem with Islam - not to mention the problems he has with other social issues like homosexuality and abortion- claim to support freedom of religion? This puzzled me for most of the night so I did a little research and basically what he is saying is that Christians should have freedom to practice their religion and screw all the rest of you. Those are my words, not his. Thankfully my timer beeped at 30 minutes and I got out of there as quickly as I could. I was certainly not staying for an hour in those circumstances.

Anyway, the moral of the story is don't EVER forget your phone when going to the gym and if you do, don't be a hero and try to muddle through....get the hell out of there and try again another day.

Lion King (and other news)

I was able to go see The Lion King (the musical) at the Orpheum in Minneapolis last weekend. AMAZING!!!!  There are really no words to describe it. I have found myself trying to describe the sets, music, and "puppets" but I simply can't do them justice. I went between feeling delighted and full of wonder to bordering on crying from the intensity of the acting and singing and the beauty of it all. In fact, I had to keep telling myself at one point to not be such a loser, you are not supposed to cry at the Lion King. Thankfully my friend (to whom I owe thanks for inviting me along on her family trip) Kate asked if it was just her that felt like crying. I was very curious how they could turn an animated film about animals into a Broadway play, and they did it basically by bringing everything to life - from grasses and water to the sky and the rocky landscape. And the animals were kind of like paper mache puppets but yet not. And the people in/behind/moving the puppets were so animal like in their movements they just blended in....at some points you couldn't even notice or tell there were people there. So, if you get a chance to see it, I would highly recommend it.

In other news....we are moving forward on our house building plans. We have a contract to sign for the blueprints. If you are interested, google First Day Cottages and you will see what our plans are. I am beginning the process of getting the house ready for going on the market (at the end of this month) and looking at prices and styles of everything we will have to include when getting our loan. I was looking at faucets and sinks tonight....geez. How on earth are you supposed to decide??!?! If there weren't so many choices, it may be easier. More to come on this life changing project as time goes on.....

Finally, tonight was a practice in motherhood, as my "child" Foxy hurt her leg to the point where she can't even put weight on it. We were walking and she was playing with another dog and I looked over to see her just sitting with a VERY pathetic face and her paw up. She wouldn't even move basically so I had to carry her home (that was quite the entertainment I'm sure for my neighbors to watch). I found out from Brian that she did a little limping on their walk earlier today so she has pulled or torn something. Side note- I was trying to decide tonight whether to walk Foxy or go to the YMCA and obviously I chose wrong. I was feeling like those choose your own adventure books. "If Lori should go home and walk Foxy, turn to page 48" or "If Lori should go to the Y, turn to page 80." Then you get to page 48 and see, "Oh, that was not the right choice".
So I went out to buy some dog aspirin and brought her food and water to her so she didn't have to move very much. Poor thing. I really don't want to be a worry-wart mom, but I can see that happening in some ways. Kate's kids get the brunt of my worrying, specifically my choking phobia. Every time I'm around and the boys are eating something, I am constantly saying, "Chew that really well" or "Take little bites". They look at me funny and then show me how good they are chewing. What a weirdo I am.

Cleansed

I did it. My cleanse is complete. Ok....it's done two days early but that is because I had a bad day at work and it's Friday and since I can't drink I am left only with sugar and darn it, I'm going to have it. 3 weeks with no sugar. Now let me say that I don't know if there is research that says this or if it is an old wives tale, but that mumbo jumbo about if you don't have "it" (insert your vice here) for awhile, it gets easier and you don't want it as much after more time has passed. Bullshit. After three weeks you would assume that I would not think about sugar in my free time and if I saw something sugary sweet or listened to my husband talk about the delicious doughnuts he ate that day I could just listen without a physical reaction. Nonsense. I want sugar just as much as I did when I started this cleanse. However there were a few good things that came out of this experience. I have a much clearer picture of how I mindlessly eat if I let myself. I also have been feeling pretty good, not having lots of gluten and dairy, and I do feel good about the avoiding of any processed foods. Overall, I recommend a cleanse or two a year just as kind of a reset and a time for contemplating eating habits.
And now in approximately twenty minutes, an ultimate veggie hoagie, greek salad, and peanut butter/chocolate granola bar will arrive at my door. Happy sigh......Welcome back.

Circle + Rectangle/Squiggle

My principal has been on this kick about having all of us (staff) find out what kind of personality type-when it comes to work-we have and if we are right or left brained. It is to help us understand that we work with lots of different types of people and maybe this will help us deal with individuals differently or at least understand where they are coming from. Well I love this kind of stuff so of course I had to bring it home to Brian so I could see where he is at. Here are the two websites I used if you are interested it taking the tests yourself....

http://frank.mtsu.edu/~studskl/hd/hemispheric_dominance.html (right/left brain test)

http://www.psychometricshapes.co.uk/index.php (shape personality test)

So it turns out that I am very slightly right brained but it's pretty close to being an equal split. Brian comes out at just a bit more right brained than me. I disagree....he is super right brained I think....but what do I know.

Then the coolest part was the shape test. I came out as a pure circle. Social, friendly, disorganized-stuff like that. Brian came out as rectange/squiggle combo-artsy, individual, honest, creative. As I was reading our profiles, this was the last sentence in his profile...."You are likely to live alone unless you find that perfect "Circle" person who will put up with your eccentric behavior."  Ummmmm yeah. It was one of those things that was just so spot on that it was really weird. I guess this just confirms the results of my Fear Factor compatibilty test as well.

Fear Factor as a Compatibility Test

Brian and I have somehow become sucked into watching Fear Factor on Monday nights. As we were watching last night, it dawned on me that if two people in a relationship watch Fear Factor together, they may find out how compatible (or not) they are. For example, the first "test" was that one person on the team had to be locked in a cage that was slowly lowered underwater while the other person was underwater trying to cut through the ropes that held their partner and then undo the lock. Brian says, "No way. My head would explode." Me, "I'd drown." Would we do it for $50K, nope. Next "test", each team had to eat a tray full of cockroaches or grasshoppers, rat hair tortillas, and drink maggots in blood to make it to the next round. I started feeling sick to my stomach and professed that no amount of money is worth that. My husband, "Me neither, wouldn't even try." The third "test" was one person had to drive a car behind a bus and the other one had to jump from the bus onto the moving car, grab a flag, and then jump back onto the bus 13 times. Both in agreement that we would do it and decided I would drive and he would jump. Something about my short legs.....

So as you can see (through a very scientific process) we are very compatible. Try it and find out. Would you really do that stuff for $50K?

Cleanse

Thanks to my friend Racheal, I am back to the blog. She is what I consider a blogging professional and insanely good at keeping everyone up-to-date on her and her family's move to Hawaii for a year. After chatting with her yesterday, she gave me the idea to talk about my cleanse.

Last year I HAD to do a cleanse/elimination diet as yet another way to try to figure out what was wrong with my stomach. I bought a book called "Clean" which details a very specific elimination diet to help people determine underlying causes of various physical ailments. I won't even go into all the things you can and can't eat for three weeks but if you are really interested you can look up Clean by Dr. Junger. Anyway, it turned out that food sensitivity was not my problem, and despite how frustrating and annoying the cleanse was, there were parts of it I liked.

So after a Christmas of shoving my face full of sugar and caffeine and processed foods, I decided that a cleanse would be a good way to start the year. I was inspired by a 21-day cleanse I found in Whole Living magazine. This cleanse seemed MUCH more reasonable than my previous cleanse with some simple instructions. First of all you have to avoid the following for three weeks: sugar, caffeine, gluten, dairy, alcohol, and processed foods. Well I can't drink alcohol anyway, and my impetus for this whole thing was caffeine and  sugar, so really the only painful part would be the gluten and dairy. During week one you are supposed to eat only fruit, veggies, and nuts (sparingly). Then week two you can add in lean protein like fish, beans, and soy, and then week three you can add in non-gluten grains and eggs. After that you are free to do what you want.

I am starting week two today. Week one really wasn't so bad, however in full disclosure, I have been adding a few tablespoons of greek yogurt to my smoothies in the morning and I have been eating some beans. I was a little nervous about not having any protein for a week, so I added those in. I haven't really missed sugar as much as I thought I would. However, I did have an epiphany the first day I started. I was sitting in a meeting at school, and there was a candy dish on the table. I reached over, grabbed a piece, popped it in my mouth, and then had this sudden realization that I wasn't supposed to do that. MINDLESS I tell you, mindless eating of sugar! That was the icing on the cake (excuse the pun) that really told me I needed to cut out sugar for awhile. That plus the peppermint pillows that are in my desk that I apparently also mindlessly put in my mouth on a regular basis throughout the day.....

I've been using some of the recipes the magazine suggests and some of my own. I made split pea soup and a squash and kale soup this weekend to eat this week, and I think I'll make a spaghetti squash and top it with my canned (homemade) stewed tomatoes. That should cover me for most of the week. I think I may add rice back in a little early cause ratatouille sounds good too. And one side note...I asked my life partner to be a part of this cleanse with me to which he originally said yes. However, week one is done and now it's "I'll start next week..." and in addition to not doing it, as I've been making these cleanse-friendly foods I have had to deal with him saying things like, "I think I'll have some soup with bread and cheese, want some? It won't hurt to have it just once," or "I'm going to order onion rings you can have one." Which again in full disclosure...sigh...I did. But just one. And damn, it was good.