I Forgot I Have a Blog

I admit it. I temporarily forgot I have a blog. It has been a month since my last post. Pretty sad. But I'm back to do some catch up and will try to be better with more regular posts.

At work the past week, one of my major tasks has been to call some of our families and ask if they would like help purchasing gifts for their kids for Christmas. Each year our school does a fundraiser with all proceeds going to buy gifts for some of our kids and kids that are in our local homeless and crisis shelters. As I've been calling parents, I've been humbled by the thanks and blessings being given to me and our school. So many families are in such tough spots right now and it has really brought my attention to just how fragile life as I know it is. So to catch up on the past month, I think I'll focus on what I am grateful for.

My brother and his partner came up for Thanksgiving this year. It was so great to have them here. I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving with them for a very long time. We had tons of great food (and there was even some meat on the table for my mom, Ben and Alan) and loads of laughs. We went Christmas tree hunting with some friends and found a lovely one which is now up and decorated and giving me immense pleasure. Much to my mother's dismay I have the tradition now of decorating the tree in old glass ornaments and multi-colored (non-LED) lights and a homemade metal snowflake tree topper. It is very old-fashioned looking and nothing like what I grew up with. No homemade, crafty, or memorabilia type of ornaments on this tree. I'll put a picture on when I can get around to it. Something else I am very grateful for is that Alan put the lights on my tree because I can't even touch the thing without breaking out and feeling like my hands are on fire and itching like crazy. He did a beautiful job and saved all of us from my whining and complaining.

I have been a cookie making machine as of late as well. I've made 6 kinds of cookies (in one weekend!) and have been a good girl and put them in tins and on my porch so that they will actually make it down to Illinois for Christmas instead of ending up in my tummy. My boys (who named me Bubbles) and I decorated sugar cookies and had a messy good time. We were all pretty sugared up after that adventure, with sprinkles and frosting literally everywhere. And I even went to my first "Cookie Party" where each person bakes a dozen cookies per person attending (aka I made 120 truffles) and then you come home with a dozen different cookies from each person (aka I came home with 100 cookies). Let me say that this is a good idea in theory, but when you are coming home with bags (like grocery bags) full of cookies, you start to rethink the merits of this type of party. Let's just say I gave away a lot to friends and had Brian take a bunch to work.

My Christmas shopping is done and just a few more gifts need to be wrapped and then we are ready for our annual drive to Dwight. I'm so excited to see all my family and hopefully some friends as well. My favorite family quote of the season so far is from my cousin Charlotte, who after emailing us her Christmas list ended it with "P.S. I'm not little anymore". Our itinerary is to visit my brother for a few days and then on to Dwight for a few more days and then head home.

And to end with one more thing I'm grateful for.....this afternoon I looked at my phone and there was a text from Brian. The text said, "Didn't walk Foxy, but I made dinner. Just put it in the oven and it's ready." Now if that isn't magical, I don't know what is.

Proud Owners

As Brian and I have been talking about our land and the upcoming building project, we've been talking about the best ideas for a living arrangement during the process. Our dear friends have offered us their "retreat" on the river which we are unbelievably thankful for, however it is a prime location and it may sell by the time we need it. In that case, we need a back-up plan. Brian thinks we should just be in a tent while we build for 4 months. You might think he was joking while he said it, but no....he was serious. I think we all know my answer to that. However, being on-site does seem like a good idea so we settled on the possibility of purchasing a cheap camper of some sort to leave on the land and "live in" while we build. I'm putting live in in quotes because I can be real enough to say that I will also be staying at various people's houses and using the YMCA for more than just their cardio equipment.

Anyway, we've been looking on Craig's list and have had my dad keeping his eyes open for trailers for sale. We went to look at one a few weeks ago (a truck/trailer all in one kind of deal) for $500 and it was in major disrepair. We told the guy that it would be fine if we had the time/money to fix it up but we needed a camper that was ready to live in cause we'd be building our house. He told us that it was good to take breaks from building your house. He then added that that's what he did.....and oh yeah, he's been divorced twice.

But then came our big break. This past Sunday I met Dad in Ashland and we went out to look at another possibility. And there she was.....a 23 foot 1971 Coachman travel trailer. Totally vintage (and I don't mean it was junky trashed, just looked like it was from 1971) and everything works in it. The guy took it to Sturgis this year so I know that it can be moved safely. And best of all, I got it for $500! Sweet. Brian is going to pick it up and take it to Hayward for the winter (since we don't have a driveway in yet, we can't put it on the land) and that way Dad can putz with it too. I'll put some pictures on when we get it situated at Dad's. So there you have it. We are the proud owners of a camper/temporary home. One more step in the right direction.

Porcupine Mountains Trip

Last weekend Brian and I (and Foxy) went to the Porcupine Mountains State Wilderness in Michigan to do some "luxury" camping. By luxury I mean that we got to forgo the tent and rented a rustic cabin for two nights. The cabins are basically just shelters that have some bunk beds, a table and chairs, a woodstove, and some pots and pans. Considering that it was in the 30's at night and rained one of the nights, it was definitely a luxury staying dry and warm in those cabins. For light, we had our headlamps and a lantern and yes, you did have to go outside to use the outhouse. It is a beautiful area and we only saw one other family there the entire three days we were in the park.

The first night we stayed at Speakers Cabin which is right on Lake Superior. It was awesome. It did some sprinkling/hailing as we walked in (oh yeah, you have to backpack your stuff in a mile to the cabins) but when we arrived at the cabin the clouds were starting to break and there was an amazing sunset to see. The cabin was super cute and stocked with wood. Quite cozy. The only complaints were that the mattresses were only a smidge better than sleeping on the ground and there were a ton of flies that had been caught by various strips of hanging fly paper. This wasn't a big deal until we made a fire in the stove and as the cabin heated up, the flies started to come back to life. Like really....as the temp went up, you heard more buzzing and saw little stuck flies starting to wiggle where they were silent and lifeless before. Creepy. I put those strips outside and in the morning there were no flies left, so I'm guessing some little critter got a midnight snack.

The second night we stayed at Greenstone Falls Cabin. This was a nice cabin on the river, however there was a very big problem. There was NO WOOD. And let me just say if it were just me on this adventure I would have left. But my strapping lumberjack husband went out and hauled in wet wood and used a sucky axe that they provide at the cabin to basically beat the wood into pieces so we could stay warm for the night. What a man. My hero. Even more so because at this point in the trip, my cold that I had started getting our first night had taken over my whole head and throat by the second night and there was no way I could even help with the wood bludgeoning.

We could have stayed a third night but I was feeling like crap so we went to Hayward on Saturday afternoon to be pampered by my Dad (aka he made us lots of good food and we watched a movie). Then Sunday we finished harvesting the last of the veggies - kale, chard, lettuce, and parsnips - and changed the oil on my car and headed back home. A really great mini-vacation. I highly recommend staying in those cabins. Really relaxing and cozy, especially when it is chilly outside.

Land

So I'm not really sure how much of this you all know, but Brian and I bought 3 acres of land in Duluth which we plan to build on in the spring of next year. This basically came about because I am a country/woods girl at heart and as much as I love our neighbors, I would rather look out my windows and not see or hear anyone. It also came about because I may or may not say things that embarrass Brian and I might say them loudly to which I am loudly and violently "SSSHHHH-ed" because the neighbors will hear me.  Slightly dramatic, don't you think?

Anyway, we found a great piece of land at a great price and it is still in the city limits and is one block from a huge nature center/trail system. Pretty lucky. That said, I am very skeptical about building a house for several reasons. The main reason is that I have no clue what I'm doing or where to begin, but thanks to calming words from Brian, a handy dad, and good friends who have gone through this already, I guess we will make it.

We've had some trials and tribulations already (and we haven't even really got started!) including an elderly man who said he would not give us an easement but he would sell us his unusable 1/2 acre for $25,000 in order to have a driveway with easier access to our land. Ummm, thanks but no thanks. The latest update is that this past weekend Brian, Foxy, and I went out to the land and staked off our driveway and the house dimensions. That was super cool to actually have a visual of where things will be. Our plans are about drawn up too. We are buying a kit from First Day Cottage (www.firstdaycottage.com) and building the house ourselves, with a little help from friends and family. The goal is to put our house on the market in February and hopefully get it to sell by April or May. Then we will stay at our friends place while we build. I think we are going to get a cheap trailer (too bad the tree fell on the one Trudi and Paul left in Hayward!) to leave on the land while we are building too.

I'm sure there will be much ranting and raving to come on this subject.....I will be "cultivating" patience for that project. But for now, I am just hopeful and optimistic of a new house surrounded by beautiful trees.

Liars

Today was one of those days that I really wish I could drink. Working with small children is a wonderful thing and just the other day I was thinking about how lucky I am that I get to basically teach kids how to be good people and hopefully make the world a better place. Well today I thought, how can those little shits sit there for over an hour and lie to my face?!!? Never, ever have I been lied to like I have been at this new school that I work at. In my previous school, I dealt more frequently with rampaging, angry kids and their angry parents, which was no walk in the park either. Last year and now this year have opened my eyes to the frustrations of trying desperately hard to make a kid understand that the worst part of lying isn't the getting in trouble, it is that I will have no trust in you for quite a long time and that my friend is a big, big problem for you. After an hour of sitting listening to two second graders lie over and over (and I know they were lying because my new thing is to write down their first story and then every subsequent story they tell so I can go back and quote them) I actually started to chuckle....you know that kind of you are about to go crazy chuckle. One of the little angels thought I was laughing about his lying and started to smile at which time I had to oh so gently remind him that I was not laughing cause the situation was funny, but because I was going slightly insane due to his story telling. Why? Why do they lie? It's like you can tell them in a million different ways that lying will only cause you to get in more trouble and lose trust, but until they are in the situation they just don't get it. And some....well, some still don't get it. Job security I guess.....

Toaster Anyone?

It happened. I fell prey to the beauty and ease of eBay. It all started this summer when going to garage sales and needing a toaster. I came across a beautiful vintage Sunbeam radiant heat toaster. This toaster is the kind that has no button or lever to press down. You just drop the bread in and the toaster then lowers the bread...kind of like magic. (Side note - I had no idea how to work said toaster in the beginning cause the lady at the garage sale just said, "You just drop the bread in" and having never ever seen this before was a bit skeptical and stood in front of said toaster for close to 30 minutes before calling my dad to ask if I had just been ripped off, when VOILA, the toast went down on its own when I dropped it in!)

Sadly this toaster must have been on its way out, because within about 3 months it quit working. I love toast and I loved that toaster even more (think cool, curvy, chrome) so I went on eBay to find another one. I found one, because what can't you find on eBay, and purchased it for $20. Oh, another side note....that garage sale toaster was only $2.50. Sigh. Anyway, my new toaster came and it didn't work. Thankfully, this was a very nice seller and I told her my plight and she refunded my money and said I didn't need to return it. So now I have two beautiful old toasters sitting in my entry because I can't seem to part with them and secretly hope someone somewhere will appear to me and know how to fix these toasters.

Back to eBay I went. Here is where it really went wrong. I found a bunch of old vintage toasters (not radiant heat ones because I think shipping might mess with that mechanism) and was trying to decide. Well, I have this issue with eBay where I bid on something and think, "I won't win with that bid, I'm sure." I must have had that thought on three days, however, because I checked my email a few days later and I had the message that I had won. Sweet! I checked my email the next day and saw another message saying I won. Why are they sending me another reminder? The following day I was checking email again and behold another message saying I had won. Ebay doesn't send three of the exact same "You won" message so I actually opened the email. Oh dear. I had won 3 different toasters. Shit. So now in my house I have 5, yes 5, toasters. They are all beautiful, old, chrome toasters, and thankfully one of the three is pretty close to my original beauty and works. I have two others though that would love a good home. So if anyone wants a vintage toaster for Christmas, you should let me know.

A Day Made Better

Whoa. Almost a month since the last post....yikes. Well, this is a good news post. Two good things in two days this week have prompted me to sit down and put the experience to words so I don't forget.

On Tuesday, I went to the doctor and received the happy news that everything seems fine since the surgery and my body is back to normal. I still haven't had a visit from my monthly friend however and I was a bit concerned about that. The Dr. put my mind at ease and said I really should even expect it for another two weeks. Whew. After that she said that I am free to "try again" (although to be honest I really hate that term, so I'll say "see what happens" instead.) Good news #1.

Then on Wednesday, I was teaching a 5th grade class when two guys from Office Max and my principal show up (along with the teacher of the class and a student teacher who were already in my room for the lesson). I am very confused at that point, especially when Brett (my boss) has a camera pointed at me. One Office Max guy says, "Are you Lori?" Oh....and he's holding a bouquet of flowers too.  "Yes...." I say. "We are from Office Max. Have you heard of A Day Made Better?" "Yes," I say....although I really didn't but I was so stupefied at that point I didn't really know what I was saying. "Well, we are here to present you with $1,000 worth of supplies for your classroom. A Day Made Better is Office Max's program to try and erase teacher funded classrooms." HOLY SHIT!!!  This was awesome and a very aptly named program because my day was INSTANTLY better. He and the other guy then wheel in (on a dolly) an ENORMOUS box (like  big enough where I could it comfortably in it and put the lid on) full of classroom supplies. So he tells me to open it up and look through it and inside with the supplies are a new color laser printer and a new digital camera! AWESOME! Then they roll in a super sweet new office chair which is way nicer than any chair our school has or would provide. Then we took pictures with me and the Office Max guys and then with my class that was there witnessing the whole thing. One student asked, "Is your day better?" "Ummm, YES!". And then what was really cute was that the Office Max guy says that it was his first ever delivery for this program and he kept asking if I was happy and excited. He was pretty excited too I think. After they left, I asked a teacher why the hell I got that stuff and she said that you have to be nominated and she thought that Brett nominated me. I asked him later and he said yes that I totally deserved it cause I make so many other people's days better.

If you google a day made better office max, you will get the webpage with the info. They take one day a year to donate $1000 of supplies to 1000 teachers nationwide. If you search for my name, you'll see the entry from Brett. It's pretty basic to be honest, but nice nonetheless. Good news #2.

It's "Fest" time

Oh yes, it's time to "fest". Fall is the time of year where you can find a "Fest" of some sort in most small towns and big cities all around northern Wisconsin and Minnesota. This past Saturday I went to Fall Fest in Chester Park right by my house. My dad came up and we ended up with Honeycrisp apples from Bayfield, a metal snowflake for a Christmas tree topper, hand made soap for Brian, and a dried flower thing for my front door. The apples were the biggest score because every year I go to Apple Fest in Bayfield (yet another fest this time of year....this year I'll be going on Oct. 8th) in hopes to get Honeycrisp apples, and the past three years I've been skunked. There is a limited supply of them and if you've never had one before, you would know why they sell out so quickly. Quite possibly the best apple ever. Anyway, I scored a 10 lb. bag of them, so if I can't get more on the 8th, then I'll be ok. Dad and I also went to check out what you could call Hawk Ridge Festival-for the annual hawk and raptor migration. Last year, we saw TONS of birds flying by...it was really amazing. This year, it was cloudy and the wind was from the south which apparently is not conducive to bird migration, therefore we saw three birds. Not very impressive.

Last Saturday, Kate and I went to Harvest Festival. It is near the lake and consists of area crafts/businesses, a huge farmers market, stustainable living booths, fun stuff for kids, and a tent with the newest green technology. Found some yummy cherry tomatoes, sweet corn, heirloom garlic (I didn't know there were so many kinds of garlic!), and onions. It's a very laid back, hippie-esque crowd and is a fun place to go.
This coming weekend I can take off from fest-ing and then the 1st it's down to Stone Lake to the Cranberry Fest and then the 8th to Apple Fest. Some may say that these festivals are a bit cheesy and overdone, but I disagree. There are usually a lot of local foods and hand made items that are pretty cool. You just have to be patient and move through the irritatingly slow-moving crowds of people and look past all the greasy (yet delicious) food, to find the good stuff.

Today was spent in the kitchen making use of the veggies Dad brought up with him. I canned green tomato pickles, stewed tomatoes, and baked oatmeal molasses bread. I was talking with my friend Stacy on the phone today and she summed it up nicely by saying that this time of year really brings out the Suzy Homemaker in people. I agree. Plus it helps to use the stove to bake and can when it is only 55 and raining outside! Especially when you refuse to turn on your furnace (even if it has frosted for several nights in a row) because it is only September for god's sake and I will not turn it on until at least mid-October. We'll see about that one I guess......

Life Update

Things in my life are settling down now into a nice, familiar routine. My energy level is pretty much back to normal, things are healing nicely (I think), and I overall just feel much better. Friday I went to work for my first day of school. SOOO glad that I did. There is nothing like walking into an elementary school and seeing little faces light up while saying, "Hi Miss Thompson!" and then getting a hug. Just the kind of therapy I needed to gain some perspective. And if I hadn't gone to work, I would have missed meeting a new kindergartener who I know I will be best buds with before the end of the year. My principal brings him down for alternative lunch and recess, which basically means that there is some reason you are not eating with your class and/or going out to recess and lots of times that reason is behavior related., introduces him to me, and then asks him to tell me why he's been brought to my room. The kid is super cute, of course, and he's chewing this enormous mouthful of food and tries to talk. "No, go ahead and chew that up and then you can tell me." He gets done, takes a deep breath and says, "I punched another student," in a very Eyore kind of voice and looking pretty bummed. "Why did you do that?" Another big sigh and looking even more defeated, "I just wanted to be his friend." Job security. We've got a lot of work to do apparently with this little guy. The good news is that he is very likeable and I think has a good heart.

Other than that, the weekend was good. I did a lot of cooking, trying to use up stuff from the garden. Cream of tomato soup, blueberry pastries, sour cream cucumbers, and zucchini patties. Sunday, Brian's brother came for a visit and stayed the night. Man oh man are those two like night and day. Hard to believe they are brothers. Then today, all three of us went up to Babbitt to see their mom and hang with her for the day. We broke out her vintage badminton set and had a really good time playing that. I haven't played badminton for a long time and Brian and I played quite a while. Foxy joined in too.....I think she somehow thought that Brian was going to like hit me with his racket every time he swung at the birdie because she would run between his legs and bark like crazy and one time when he was running up to get a short shot (in Foxy's world he was running at me) she nipped him in the ankle. I had to turn my head so he didn't see me laugh. Poor Foxy. She can't help it, she's a herding dog with an attachment disorder. What's she supposed to do? Then we grilled dinner and headed home. On to my first full (almost) week at work.......

Side note: It's only like 45 degrees right now and it feels delicious. Good sleeping weather.

Relief

My doctor just called (yes, at 8:30 at night!) to tell me that it is NOT a molar pregnancy!!!  Yeah!!!  She said pathology said there weren't any signs of a molar, so it was just a blighted ovum. I am so relieved. It is a bad enough situation to lose a pregnancy, but to be told there might be cancer involved....that is really frightening. The other good piece of this news is that now we can try again in a month or two, rather than 6-12 months if it had been a molar. So I guess this means I'll just blog about my kinda boring daily life til I'm able to share the good news of when we are expecting again.

Recovery

At home resting today after my surgery yesterday. I had to be to the surgery center at 1:00. Brian drove me and we got in right away. We had a nurse who actually was quite entertaining; she was very good at her job. We went over all the paperwork, and what to do after the surgery and then just sat and waited for a bit. The anesthesiologist came in to tell me the risks and ask questions. He was pretty cool too, and even better, he listened to me when I said I puked last time I had general anesthesia and he said he'd do his best to make sure that didn't happen. Around 2:30 the nurse and doctor came in to tell me it was time to head back, and out I went. Everyone in the operating room was really nice. The guy told me," Ok, good night, don't let the bed bugs bite and if they do hit 'em with a shoe," and that's the last I remember.

I woke up and was going to tell them that they needed to give me more sedation cause I was waking up during the procedure, but turns out I was done and waking up like I was supposed to. Once I was kind of awake, the cramps started. Wow. Pretty painful. Painful enough for me to tell the nurse that, "I've got cramping and it really hurts." So she asked the anesthesiologist what to give me, and since he didn't want me to puke (which I hadn't) he didn't give me a narcotic, but something else that started with a T which was put in through my IV. That didn't go so well. About a minute later, I told the nurse I was feeling light-headed and I thought I was going to pass out. "What?" she said like she didn't totally believe me. "I'm going to pass out," I told her again, and that's when my monitor started beeping and flashing cause my blood pressure was dropping. They laid me totally flat (a few more nurses came over) and my pressure leveled out at around 60/30. I think I freaked the one nurse who was in charge of me out, cause she kept checking my pressure then almost every 5-10 minutes for the next hour, and she jokingly kept shaking her finger at me.

Around 4ish, I went back to my room where Brian was waiting. He looked a little worried when I was wheeled in, and when I asked him later what he was thinking when he saw me, he said he wasn't expecting me to look so pathetic and crippled. "I felt like taking care of you," was how he put it. I finally started to feel better (that medicine must have kicked in) and my blood pressure was coming up. I was freezing so they have this cool gown thing where there is a plastic liner between the gown and your body. They hook a vacuum hose thing into the liner and then blow hot air into it so it isn't touching your skin but you get nice and warm. They covered me in like 4 warm blankets and then I was feeling pretty good.

Around 5, I was able to leave....my blood pressure was up to 93/53. The nurses post-op were just great. Brian drove me home and then went to get Thai food (I hadn't eaten since midnight) and my pain killers. What a guy. He is such a sport. I fell asleep around 7:30, woke up today around 6:30 to see if I could go to work but felt a little woozy from the drugs, so went back to sleep til 8:30. Feeling pretty good at the moment, and that's not due to pain meds either. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate every one of you. I'll keep you updated with the news of the pathologists results and where we go from there.

This Must Be Why You Are Supposed to Wait 3 Months Before You Tell People

Very sad news. My ultrasound today showed nothing in the gestational sac and apparently the doctor saw something that made her concerned enough to tell me that I need a D&C. She said that it could just be a blighted ovum, but it could also be a molar pregnancy. In which case, I need to have a D&C to get everything out and then to a pathologist to be sure that it wasn't a molar pregnancy.  I had never even heard of a molar pregnancy, but apparently instead of an embryo growing, all those cells just turn into a mass. So your body thinks you are pregnant and you have all the signs but there really isn't anything there. You have to get that mass out then because it is slightly possible (according to what I read on the internet under 20% of cases) there may be pre-cancerous cells involved. The doctor didn't want to risk the time it might take for my body to take care of it. So let me be clear (for myself too) that she doesn't know if it is molar or not, but she doesn't want to wait around if it is. I'll have the D&C this week....I'm waiting for the office to call and tell me when it will be.....and then I need a day or two before I'll go to work. After that, the contents go to the pathologist and then they call me with the results. If it is a "normal" miscarriage, then we can try again shortly. If it is a molar pregnancy, we have to wait 6-12 months to try again to be sure all the tissue is out and my hormone levels are fine. At this point, I really don't know more about it and I kind of don't feel like talking about it, so I'll keep you updated via the blog for now. Let's just keep out fingers crossed that it was a normal type of miscarriage.

I Hate Olives

I am cursed. If I were to keep track of all the times I have ordered a pizza and asked for NO olives and then received olives on the pizza, I think about 85% of the time I get the damn olives. At first I thought it might be me. Maybe I wasn't clear about how I said no olives. I would say, "No olives please." And then I would get green olives. So I thought maybe in pizza making world, olives only meant black olives. So I changed my request to, "No black olives and no green olives please." However, I still received green olives, but not black. Maybe they stopped listening after they heard black olives. Another time I said that same thing and they gave me black olives and no green peppers. Definitely a listening problem. So then I changed again. "No olives of any kind. Not black, not green. I don't want any olives." Sigh. Again, green but not black olives. This happened again today. She even repeated my order back to me, "Vegetarian pizza, sub spinach for broccoli, and no olives." Hallelujah. I went picked up the pizza, heard a little voice inside say....check for olives.....but I ignored it, being an eternal optimist, and went on my way. I got to school, opened it up, and there they were. Tons of green olives. Why?!?! What am I supposed to learn from this? I am just supposed to like olives? I don't understand. It doesn't seem hard. And it isn't just one restaurant (although one is notorious for ignoring my no olive request), it happens at several places where I order from. So I've made a decision. I am going to now say to the person taking my order, "I do not want any olives. I am allergic to olives. I can't eat olives of any kind. I will go into anaphylactic shock if I eat olives. I carry an Epi-Pen for emergencies. I may die. Please don't put olives on my pizza." We'll see how that works.

Another Possibility

Maybe I should have just waited patiently for next Monday. Maybe I should have stayed off of the internet. Or maybe what I did was good. What I did do was start researching all sorts of things on the internet related to gestational sacs, 5 week ultrasounds, and other such topics. I was feeling pretty good as I looked at 5 week ultrasound pictures online which looked pretty much just like mine did. I was reading forums where pregnant moms talked about how they didn't see anything til 6 1/2 weeks or how you can have a tilted uterus and you can't see much til it gets bigger. Overall, pretty positive stuff. But then as I was reading I kept coming across the words "blighted ovum". Having no clue what this was, I looked it up. Oh my. It is basically one of the most common reasons for miscarriage. You are pregnant-have a positive test, stop menstruating, get tired, nauseous, and your boobs hurt. However, at a certain point, the embryo just stops growing. And what you are left with is an empty gestational sac. I looked at images......turns out that a blighted ovum and a 5 week ultrasound look strikingly similar. Almost identical in fact.

So I am now preparing myself for the worst come next Monday. The information I read said that the main cause of a blighted ovum is that there was some sort of chromosomal abnormality with the embryo and the body knows it is best to not let it continue. I totally believe in my body and that it makes the best decisions, so if in fact it is a blighted ovum, then (although I will be super disappointed/bummed/crabby/sad/etc) I logically know it was for the best. I am also aware of psychosomatic issues, and having said that, I told Brian today that my boobs don't hurt as much and I don't feel as bloated. Mind over matter? Possibly. Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.....most definitely. I guess we'll see on Monday.

Actually It's the Size of a Lentil

So I went for my first doctor's appointment yesterday. Brian was off work so he was able to come along. As we were leaving he grabs his book. "You're going to READ during my appointment?" "No, it's for the waiting room." Hmmmm. We get to the office and sign in and wait. "Guess you wish you would have brought something to read." Which at that point I kinda did cause there was nothing to read there, so I proceeded to talk to him so he couldn't read. Terrible, I know. We get called in and there is this weird moment of wondering, "Is it ok for Brian to come in?" We didn't see any other guys going in. So we asked the nurse (who for the record was NOT enjoying her day based on her demeanor) and she said it was fine. She took my blood pressure (which was a bit high for me who normally runs a low 90/70) and weighed me. I did, yet didn't, want to see that number, but turns out they weigh you backwards so I didn't even see what I weighed. Then we headed in to wait for the Nurse Practioner.

Now our friends Kate and Matt had been to this same clinic for their kids, and he warned Brian the past weekend that, "The room is really small. You are just right there while they are doing everything." Very true. She came in let me ask my questions (answers: yes- I do need to eat that much protein, yes-I can still highlight my hair, yes-I can take my Singulair), and then she asked a bunch of health questions and had me sign forms, etc. She was VERY nice. I liked her. Then she had to get down to business. There was the physical exam which due to the size of the room, Brian got to be front and center for. He said he tried not to look but there was really nowhere else TO look, and he was kind of intrigued by the whole process.

Finally came the ultrasound. Up to this point she says everything seems good, I'm a low risk pregnancy. Then she "inserts" the "wand" to see what's happening in my uterus. Well, turns out that the Iphone apps and the doctors office were incorrect on when conception actually happened. I am actually more like 5-6 weeks along, not 8. So when we were looking at the ultrasound screen what we saw was the gestational sac and that was it. Now I have to go back for another ultrasound next Monday to take another look. Hopefully there will be more to see then.

I was pretty disappointed for several reasons. But really, it makes perfect sense. They kept saying you use the date of your last period to tell how far along you are, and I don't get that. You can't be pregnant on the first day of your last period. So according to what we saw yesterday, I must have conceived around July 15th. Brian claims that he knew when I was pregnant.....That day he kept saying how beautiful I looked, like I was glowing. And he even took lots of pictures of me (I was not looking particularly lovely that day let me tell you). But weird huh? We looked back on his camera and it was July 17th that he took the pictures. He's so sensitive. =) So, that's where I'm at. I think I've just started my 6th week, so really it's the size of a lentil. Which then makes me even more sad.....a LENTIL and my pants are tight. Yikes.

If It's the Size of a Kidney Bean, Then Why Don't My Shorts Fit

The scale may not be saying that much is happening (well, okay...a little) but my shorts are telling a different story. Last year, I had some mystery stomach illness that caused me to watch really carefully what I ate, go to the doctor multiple times, and horror of horrors, give up drinking alcohol. Because of my sorry state, I ended up losing around 15 pounds. I used to think that I'd give up drinking if I could lose weight, but that is what someone says who hasn't gone through it. So with the weight loss came new clothes. Now I love clothes and I had accumulated what some may say was a bit of excess in the clothing department, which in my mind just means that I had a great selection of clothes to choose from. I had a really hard time getting rid of the clothes (especially pants) that didn't fit anymore and even had the passing thought of....."Hmmm, maybe I should keep these just in case I ever get pregnant." But no, I got rid of them as we were trying to prepare our house for moving (eventually).

So imagine my dismay when a few days ago I go to put on a pair of BRAND NEW shorts that still had the tags on them and they were just a bit to snug and in no way going to be comfortable for sitting all day in a meeting. This prompted me to try on several more of my newer pairs of shorts/capris and let me tell you those that still feel ok aren't going to last long. I am very sad about this. Very sad. I did keep these clothes as goal clothes. It will be my goal to fit back into them post-baby.

It was right around this time of feeling thick, that I got my weekly update on my phone telling me what stage I was at in my pregnancy. It always gives you something to compare its size to, and it told me that it was the size of a kidney bean. Kidney bean? My shorts don't fit. That equation just doesn't add up. Well, I read on and it said that your uterus has doubled in size. So maybe that's the issue. Either way, the sad, steady downward slide of not fitting into my clothes has begun, and I'm not happy about it.

Peak of the Season

I love harvest time. This is the time of year where my flower garden/front yard is out of control but amazing, the vegetable garden is a chaotic tangle of plants and vines, and my teeny, tiny kitchen is covered in pots, pans, jars, a food processor, and various fruits and vegetables in various stages of being processed. It's a lot of work, but the best kind of work in my opinion.

Yesterday, Brian, Dad, and I went to pick blueberries. Holy cow. I've never seen so many blueberries on these plants. I guess the rainy cool summer was good for them because I think we only picked off of 8 plants and we ended up coming home with 32 pounds of berries!! Excessive, maybe. Awesome, yes. Dad also brought up more veggies from the garden, so today I am married to my kitchen. I have strained the honey from Dad's bees (he brought up some of the comb he froze), made a batch of sauerkraut (hoping this batch turns out better....the first batch didn't get the air it needed and had too much salt), shredded and froze zucchini, cut corn of the cob to freeze, froze some blueberries and will make jam with the rest, and then on to making pickles.

On the pregnancy front, its been a pretty busy last few days and by the end of the day yesterday I was cranky and tired. Three days with no nap makes for a crabby pregnant lady. There was also my first bit of spotting the other day. I guess I'm not too worried about it because it was hardly anything and it was around the time of when I would have had my period anyway. I was reading about it online, and the first website I checked into told this story of a lady who had spotting. She was "freaking out" and went for her first ultrasound the following week. Turns out the spotting was just her body adjusting to her carrying TWINS. My appointment is next week.....coincidence....I hope so. =) The other new development I've noticed is the crying for no apparent reason. It's only happened twice now, but wow. It comes on out of nowhere and involves sobbing, Brian rubbing my head and trying not to laugh but unable to do so, and me saying (in between sobs) "This is ridiculous." Let's hope those little episodes only happen at home.

The Business of Being Born

I just finished watching this documentary called The Business of Being Born. Wow. I started off thinking that I really shouldn't watch this at this point, but ended feeling teary, more educated, and empowered. It basically is a discussion on home births and midwives and what they don't tell you about hospital births, including the drugs given and prevalence of c-sections and how those two things are correlated. Now, I have considered a home birth, but there are two major reasons why I won't. 1-My insurance doesn't cover it. 2-My house will be on the market when the baby is due and for some reason that seems a little weird having a baby in the house that you may need to show a few days later. So I'm sticking with the birthing rooms at St. Lukes. However, I do feel much more educated in what my rights are and what I do want out of a hospital birth. So I'll have to talk to my Dr. about that. My first appointment is not this coming Monday but the 22nd, and I see a nurse practitioner who will then direct me to the doctor that seems to "fit" me the best.

On another note, I looked at baby clothes at TJ Maxx today and was curious about something. A lot of the little onesie type things only had snaps between the legs. It seems to me like you would want snaps all up the front and around the legs so you don't have to try to shove little mushy baby head and arms through the collar and into the sleeves.   And the other thing I noticed is that a lot of those clothes are made of really yucky fabrics. Like, I wouldn't wear them. I would want soft cotton and I wouldn't really care if it said "Cupcake" or "Daddy's Girl" on it. Just an observation. The pregnancy learning curve is exponential apparently.

Eagle Eyes

I'm using this post as a forum for settling a little "discussion" I'm having with my mother. She was telling me today that while she was driving from Hayward today, she saw one of those green hornworm caterpillars on the side of the road. I looked at her a bit skeptically and asked for a bit more information. She said, "You know, like how you see those fuzzy bear caterpillars crawling along side the road." I say, "How fast are you moving when you "see" these caterpillars?" "Oh....like 55." I say, "This is driving 55 in your big Jeep down the highway and you are seeing fuzzy bear caterpillars that are like this (I hold up my fingers to show how big they are) big?" She says, "Well, actually they are even smaller than that, and yes haven't you seen them?" It is at this point I tell her no I haven't, and no way has she. A little history to go along with this....along with my grandma who was known for telling stories about things she saw (a green bird with a purple beak) or "find the animal" pictures, my mother is known for telling people about her nature sightings. Most of the time she is just in the right place at the right time and is also just really aware and present in the moment so she gets to see a lot of stuff. But sometimes, we just have a hard time believing her. So she is shaking her head feeling sorry for me that I haven't seen these caterpillars crossing the road and that I should pay more attention. I tell her I am paying attention - TO THE ROAD. She says," Ask anybody, they'll tell you". So I say, "I most certainly will." Which leads me here.....do you see fuzzy bear caterpillars crossing the road while driving 55 mph? And maybe not even crossing the road, maybe just crawling along the shoulder? Mom has told me I will feel chastised and feel bad for making fun of her after I hear that indeed I am just the poor soul not paying attention. I promise not to be mad if you side with her..... =)

Infrastructure

I was listening to NPR today and they are having these round table discussions about having kids and today's topic was daycare. The newslady was leading the discussion and asked, "Do childcare workers make enough money for what they do every day?".....the consensus was no. Then she flipped the question to, "Do you pay too much for childcare?".....the consensus was yes. I thought that was really interesting, especially the discussion that followed.

These people were in Washington DC and the costs they were quoting for daycare were astounding! One woman said she estimated $40,000 for a nanny! I have been listening to friends for some time now talk about daycare costs and my most recent quote I think I heard from someone was like $650/700 a month, which is a big chunk of a paycheck. The discussion also included the fact that a lot of families have to really lay out a detailed plan of their expenses to see if both parents working is more cost effective than one parent staying home. Plus throwing in the notion of spending those first few years at home with your kids and the impact that has. I've heard my friends talk about the same thing. There was also a grandma in the discussion who talked about how she watched her grandchild pretty much every day from breakfast through dinner. This led to the group talking about how fortunate people are who have an "infrastructure" of family and friends to provide care for children. The whole village raising a child idea. One guy said that his mom, who was in Illinois with all his siblings and other family, said she was worried about how he and his wife were going to raise kids without that network of support. I guess this was the part of the discussion that really struck me. Growing up, I was able to be raised through that family infrastructure. If I was sick, my aunt or grandma would pick me up from school if my mom couldn't. I always had people around who would help take care of me and my brother. I feel really fortunate having had that experience. Especially now as I think about these logistical questions of daycare. I am really lucky that my mom is going to be my daycare "provider". I also have wonderful friends who would help me out whenever they could too. And my dad is only 90 minutes away, although I'm not sure he wants to be in charge of a baby..... maybe once it's older.....  =)
Plus having summers off and Brian's always weird and changing schedule, I am cautiously optimistic that daycare should not be the cause of a massive amount of stress. I do wish I were closer (in proximity) to family, but traveling for holidays and during the summer will just be part of the deal. Just a contemplation I was having today. I'm sure it's just the tip of the iceberg.

BWCA

No posts for a couple days because I left civilization to go to my favorite place....the Boundary Waters. Brian, Foxy, and I left Saturday to put in at Sawbill Lake, paddled and portaged about 9 miles, and set up camp on Cherokee Lake. Now I do love going out into the BWCA (Boundary Waters Canoe Area) but there is always a little bit of trepidation over 1) the weather and 2) the bugs. The last trip we took (in June this year) had both rain and biting flies/mosquitoes, so I was really hoping we would have better luck this time. And we did! Oh man was it nice. There was no wind on our way in, the bugs were not bad at all (as long as you were in your tent by like 9:00 at which time they all came out in droves but you could hear them coming so at least we had a little warning), and we had a great site. We did get a good workout on the way out today because there was a decent wind that we paddled into the entire way back. But overall, it was a very relaxing and peaceful trip.

Being pregnant has some advantages to these kind of trips as well. Like, I didn't have to carry as much as I usually do on the portages, and I must say that Brian was a sport about carrying the extra weight in his bags. He didn't complain once and kept telling me to take it easy. The downside of being prego in the BWCA is that sitting in the canoe for that long is not as comfortable and I couldn't really wear the waist belt on my pack cause it felt weird. The highlight, prego or not, is putting up your hammock and reading a good book while watching the loons float by and listening to the water sloshing against the shore. Now that is awesome.

We saw loons, lots of ducks, and a pitcher plant, but sadly the most memorable piece of "nature" was not beautiful or exciting. We were on our day trip, just paddling around from lake to lake, checking out different campsites we might want to stay at in the future. We pulled in to one such site, which was awesome, and I was throwing the stick for Foxy into the water so she could swim a bit. I started to head to the canoe and I was trying to swish whatever was caught between my toes (I was wearing my water sandals) and as I kept swishing I knew it was bad. I lifted my foot and am embarrassed to say, said something like this, "OH MY F*ING GOD... GET IT OFF BRIAN... GET IT OFF RIGHT NOW..." as I am flailing my foot around in the air with this gigantic leech hanging off of my toes. I can't even look at it as he is pulling it off (which my hero did without hesitation), and when he does get it off (he then yelps a little bit as it starts sucking on him) he flings it. I found it back in the water and OH MY GOD, IT HAD TENTACLES. On closer inspection, it was not a mutant leech with tentacles, but a leech with LIKE 50 LITTLE BABY LEECHES ATTACHED TO IT. So then I look at my foot and see several of these little baby leeches attached to my toes as well. I may or may not have destroyed many of those little leeches still in my path at that point. Dear God. It was awful. I don't know what it is about leeches, but I simply cannot deal with them. Ticks, mosquitoes, snakes, spiders, whatever. I can handle those, but leeches.....no thanks. I am shuddering even as I type this, that's how gross it was. But really though.....the rest of the trip was beautiful. Gorgeous. I highly recommend it.

My Ring!!!

It's official! I have a ring. It is beautiful. The wait has been totally worth it. I took a picture with my phone so it isn't really a great picture but enough for you to get the point. I love, love, love it. So does Brian. It is a vintage ring (50's/60's) and get this.....the name of it was "Marriage made in Heaven Ring". Ha!! Which means it was totally meant for me. =) Finally, the wait is over.

A Shout Out To My Friends

I had lunch today with three friends, two of whom I hadn't seen in awhile. It was one of those really long, leisurely lunches that was filled with laughs and good conversation. And food too, of course. After we had went our separate ways, I started to think about how lucky I am to have the friends I do. Then I started to think about how I don't say how much I appreciate each and every one of you and how important you are. So I want to devote this post to my friends. Maybe it is the hormones making me sappy, but I want each of you to know you are so special to me and thanks for being there. I know that when lots of you became pregnant, I wasn't excited for you because I was selfishly thinking that I would lose time with you. I apologize for that. Especially since not one of you has said anything other than wonderful, kind, and encouraging things about my pregnancy....well, maybe other than Sarah O....but that is exactly why we are friends. =)

To everyone from elementary school, high school, college, and grad school as well as from different places we've worked, thank you. I appreciate your friendship, your words of encouragement, advice, and suggestions, your laughter, and your company. And if these raging hormones swing another way and I am a rude, insensitive bitch, please remember how fond of you I really am.

Another Thing To Be Grossed Out About

Warning...this topic is not for the faint of heart (and inappropriate for children).

So my friend Kate is going to be my doula. For those of you unfamiliar with a doula, it is someone who is there for the couple before, during, and after labor to help educate, comfort, and overall just make sure things are going smoothly. This person doesn't become completely wrapped up in the moment during the birth so is able to help the mom use different techniques to ease pain and discomfort, calm the soon-to-be-parents, and talk with hospital staff. And by the way, the word doula comes from the Greek "slave," so some are opposed to using the term, but I think it is funny. =)

Good doula that she is, Kate has given me some books to read. I started the first one last night. I was reading the chapter about labor and (if that chapter wasn't gross enough as it was) there in a box....not even a regular paragraph-a separate box on the page....was information on the topic of sex during labor. Oh my god. Just when I thought I was doing really well making it through the chapter without gagging, there it was. Now you know those moments where you know you should look away but you just can't make yourself? Well, I just had to read it because I just didn't think it could be real. So I get the science or biology of it, but for real?!?!  And logistically?!?! I just don't get that. And how on earth could that even be CLOSE to what is on your mind at that point? Then I find out there is a whole movement (excuse the pun) called Orgasmic Birth. I don't know. Nothing about birth sounds orgasmic to me.

So of course I read this section to Brian as soon as he gets home from work (lucky him), and I can see the wheels spinning. Then come a few terribly inappropriate comments and gestures. It's good to be able to laugh about this stuff. Side note....I also decided to tell my mom about this phenomenon, and I think I scarred her for life. I told her she might not be able to be in the birthing room with us because Brian and I might need to have sex. I know, that was terrible and mean and gross, but the look on her face was priceless. =)

What If There Are Two?

Inspiration for this post comes from my dear friend Amanda. Today was my day to hang out with my friend Kate for my birthday. We were going to go to the YMCA, then go out to eat and do a little shopping. As I was waiting for her to pick me up, I checked my email and behold the comment that shaped the rest of my day.

"I predict twins."

Now this is a nearly heart-stopping comment. Not just because I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around me being a mom as it is, but Brian has made several twins comments as well. As we were planning when I was going to go off the pill, he came home with a bunch of sweet potatoes. "Oh what are you going to make with those?" I asked. "You have to eat these so that you'll have twins," he said. "I read that if you eat lots of sweet potatoes, you'll have twins." I was bewildered by this because at no point in baby discussions did I say ANYTHING about doing something to enhance my chances of having more than one being inside of me. Then there is the fact that his brother just had twins. And finally, while talking to Brian the other day about how quickly I became pregnant, he throws this out. "You're more likely to have twins after coming off the pill." WTF?!?!  When has he been researching this? Where is he getting this information? And why on earth does he think it's a good idea to TRY to have twins? Here is his explanation. "Well, then you only have to go through labor once." Sweet, in his own weird way, I guess, but let me also add that there has been no talk of a second baby down the road. So this must be his own little plan for the future.

I guess we just wait and see on this one, but the idea certainly adds another thought to mull around. Thank you Amanda. I haven't seen Brian yet today to tell him this but I will this evening. I'm sure he'll be thrilled.

I Hope My Neighbors Like Vegetables

You know you are in the peak of summer when you come home with bags of zucchini, green beans, basil, dill, cucumbers, and all of your canning equipment that you really were hoping to just keep in Hayward so it didn't crowd your already teeny tiny kitchen. I really think my dad and I need to figure out a way to get some of this stuff to a farmers market or something. There is just SO much. Friends and neighbors are happy (I think) recipients of some of the bounty but I can tell you what I'll be doing this week....processing vegetables.

It is here that I realize what is different this year compared to previous years. Thinking of canning and freezing this week makes me realize how tired being pregnant has made me. I love summer and being able to be on the go and be busy all the time. Well, my "condition" has put a bit of a crimp in my style.At this point, I require (and I mean require) a nap every day and if I don't get one, I am usually whimpering by 8.  I hope I perk up before school starts. Friends have reassured me that I should come out of this tired all the time phase in another couple months. For now, I guess I will just be thankful to be able to nap while I can.

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday! My birthday used to mean so many things....namely when I could drink and stay up til wee hours of the morning. I would call it my birthday week, and I would get together with all my friends and drink and play games......ahhh. The good life. Funny how things change when you can't drink and you need a nap every day and still require a 10 or 11 bedtime. However, I still had a wonderful day, mostly because it is a rule with my family that whatever you say on your birthday can be met with no objections or suggestions and if someone dares to do such a thing, you say, "It's my birthday." This hushes any critics and immediately ends any disagreements.

So today Brian made me blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and then we took Foxy on our usual morning walk. Then came home, packed up, and headed for Hayward to do some tubing down the river. After tubing, we made dinner with my dad (grilled homemade veggie burgers, corn on the cob, and a bean salad) and then had strawberry shortcake for dessert. My dad also had made me a lemon poppyseed cake, which he's been making for me for as long as I can remember as my birthday cake, and as I'm about to try a small slice, he says, "Can you eat that while you're pregnant?" Well hell. I don't know. So I look it up and of course text my brother. "If I eat poppyseed cake will I turn my baby into a drug addict or kill it?" He laughed at me and said no. Regardless, I don't think I'll be eating more of the cake (that is so, so sad yet probably good because no one needs to eat a cake basically by themselves) and it will be shared with those who will appreciate it.

Creepy Dream

I wasn't sure I should share this dream but Brian said that he thought I should. I can't do the gestures and expressions that really need to go along with the story, but use your imagination. This was my weird -and hopefully not one little bit true- dream.

I was returning from somewhere and I had left my baby with someone while I was gone. When I came in the house, that person said, "Your baby wouldn't eat!" Apparently I must have been gone awhile, because I became very upset and rushed into a back bedroom to find her. I opened the door and in the kind of dark room there is a bed and on the bed is this "creature" who is my baby. She was like a feral child who was scurrying around on the bed in a crouched, animal like position and when she looked at me she had crazy eyes. You know those eyes where an animal is cornered and even worse than that, one eye kinda looked up and out so that both eyes weren't even looking at me. (At this point I told Brian that I can't remember if I was scared in my dream or if I was just scared when I woke up thinking about it.) So then I am saying to her, "Come on honey, you have to eat," and she is just scurrying around the bed, looking at me all crazy-eyed. Since she isn't coming to me, I pull out my boob (sorry! but it's part of the dream) and she looks at it and basically like launches herself from the bed, attaches herself to my boob, and starts drinking. At this point I look down and I'm holding a beautiful (not feral) baby girl. Then I woke up.

WTF!!! I'm assuming with more hormones surging through me there will lots more f*d up dreams, but that one was just a bit to creepy not to be shared.

Confession

Might as well get this out now so I don't have to try to be nice about it later....I think the process of  "being" pregnant is gross. I know there are lots of people who say pregnancy is a beautiful, amazing thing-even a miracle. Well, I whole-heartedly disagree with the beautiful part. Several recent events prompted this confession. The first is that I have several (well, more like 6) pregnancy apps that I've added to my phone to get as much info as I can since I really am not starting with much. One of said apps sends you an update at the beginning of each new week.  On Wednesday I received my 5 week update which I unknowingly opened and in addition to information on what the baby is like at 5 weeks and what is happening to me, there were pictures. They were small and I couldn't really tell what they were of, so I clicked on them. Big mistake. I instantly felt like gagging and handed the phone to Brian. "Look at that!!!!" Brian looks at it, is quiet for a minute and then says, "It has a tail."

 I was at Barnes and Noble reading about this whole process and there was an actual story of a woman's labor and I had to put the book back and leave the building before I got sick. Physically ill, I tell you. And today, I'm talking with my friend Sarah, who is due with her first child in September, and she was trying to ease my mind about the "movements" I would be experiencing. Very kind of her to try to do, but as she was talking I had a flashback to a friend who was pregnant and I was looking at her while she was talking and her stomach suddenly bulged and rippled. I was speechless and horrified. "That was an elbow," she said. Does that not seem VERY much like the movie Alien to you? It certainly does to me. I was just waiting for it to burst out of her belly and start looking for something to eat.

I can't explain it but something about the thought of this weird looking creature living inside of me just completely grosses me out. I don't know why. Maybe it was something from a past life. I'm sure (or at least I'm really hoping) these grossed out feelings will ease as I go. But until then, I'll be careful of what I read and what movies I watch.

Busy Bee

My Dad and I tend two big, beautiful gardens at his house in Hayward. Well, I guess they are mostly his, but I go there pretty often to plant, weed, thin, harvest, and process veggies. Yesterday and today were spent down there harvesting beets, green beans, peas, cauliflower, basil, eggplant, dill, and lettuce. There is usually such a big crop of everything that we tend to give it away to friends (if you need anything and are around here let me know!), eat what we can, and then process the rest. So far, processing has been relegated to freezing what we can. Enter hot water canning! Dad got me the stuff I need and we tried it out last night and today. I used the green beans to make Dilly Beans (something I was introduced to by my friend Racheal) and beets to make Pickled Beets (a family favorite). We usually make these every year but then have to keep them in the fridge since they haven't been officially canned. This really limited the amount we could make because those jars took up a lot of space in the fridge. So after a long, hot 5 hours, we ended last night with 12 pints total.

This morning we went to Bayfield to harvest raspberries. We go to Blue Vista Farm in Bayfield and they have tons of awesome berries. (We go back in a few weeks to pick blueberries next!) We each picked almost 10 pounds of berries and then headed home to make and can raspberry jam. Lots of the raspberries were frozen but we also came away with 11 pints of jam.

At this point I am about getting ready to leave to head home when I realized I needed to pick the peas and some lettuce before I left. Dad and I go out to the garden and are picking the peas when I feel something on the back of my leg, right behind my knee. Assuming it was a mosquito, I lifted my heel up to squish whatever it was. Dumb idea. It was not a mosquito but something that had a stinger. So I look at Dad and say "Something just stung me" (which really to be fair I totally stung myself, but whatever). Now this wouldn't be a big deal except that I am allergic to hornets and wasps. I carry an Epi-Pen for just such occasions. First thought, "Are you f***ing kidding me?" Second thought, "Can I take Benadryl if I'm pregnant?" Next thought, "What happens to a baby if I have to use my Epi-Pen?" We drop everything and go inside to look up if Benadryl is ok (which it says it is, thank goodness) and then to call my brother, Dr. Ben, to see what he thinks. I tell him I just got stung but am not sure by what. He asks all the right doctor questions and then concludes I'm probably going to be fine, just take a Benadryl and have another handy in case you start to get worse, and if things do get worse, use your pen. He was absolutely right. It must have been a bee or something little that stung me cause nothing really happened. Whew.

Moral of this story..... 1) don't squish something with a stinger into yourself and 2) there is so much I don't know about being pregnant so thank god for the internet....and my brother. =)

Parasite

Originally I was going to name this blog something like Hosting a Parasite, in honor of my belief that pregnant women are really just hosts for this thing living inside them, feeding off of them, and basically just using them to further their development. Sounds like a parasite to me. However, I decided that when my kid is old enough to understand things and it finds out that I've been posting on the internet and calling it my "parasite," it may have some sort of detrimental effect on it's self-esteem.

Brian is also on-board with my parasite theory and he used this when telling his mom (Joyce) the other night that I was pregnant. Brian had been kayaking in the Boundary Waters near Ely and stopped at his mom's house in Babbit to say hi, chat, and then head home. Here is the account of the conversation.

Joyce - "How's Lori feeling?" (Side note: For those of you who don't know, my stomach has had some difficulties this last year and I've felt like crap more often than not. A mystery illness really. No one has a clue and nothing worked....not even waving a magnet over my back and the woman telling me to let go of my anger.)
Brian - "She's infected."
Joyce - "What? What's wrong?"
Brian - "She has a parasite."
Joyce - "A parasite! Where did she get that? On your backpacking trip? The Boundary Waters?"
Brian - "From me."
Joyce - "Nooo, it's not from you."
Brian - "Yeah, I gave it to her."
Joyce - "What do you mean?
Brian - "I don't need to explain it to you . You already know the process of reproduction."
Joyce - "What?"
Brian - "She's pregnant."

At this point Joyce can't even be fully excited because she is so confused at what just happened. She ended up calling me last night to express how excited she is and relay her version of this story.

Why not Facebook?

Well, here it is. My attempt at keeping you informed of what is happening in my life. I have to put a few warnings out so that you know what you are getting yourself into......
1) I type how I talk. So it will probably be rambling and may digress but it will be just like you were listening to me.
2) There may be the occasional swear word. It's just who I am.
3) I'm learning how to blog as I go, so if it seems pretty unsophisticated- it is.

A very short history on why I even decided to do this is because I got pregnant. I have said for years (my entire life really except for the last year) that I would never have kids. Well, biology got the best of me and last year started feeling warm and fuzzy when I saw babies rather than feeling grossed out. So I went off of my pill (thank you Ortho-Tricyclen) on June 22, 2011 and what do you know, I got pregnant. Apparently I am pretty fertile. After realizing how many people would be pretty amazed by this news, and trying to do emails and calls, I thought a blog might be better. Especially, with everything else that is going on (building a new house, second year at my new job, expanding the garden) I figured a blog would be a way to journal what an amazing (crazy) time it is for me and Brian (husband), Foxy (dog), and Circe (cat) right now.

Several of you may be wondering why I just don't keep people updated by joining Facebook. I don't want to. There just seems to be too much pressure with Facebook and I have enough going on so I'm going with the blog instead. Plus, not EVERYONE is on Facebook so those people who might want the updates (especially on the impending baby) wouldn't have access.

Getting the blog going took way longer than I thought partially because every name I could think of was taken  so thanks to Charlotte and my brother (who I must say came up with some very good and very bad ideas-which the very bad ideas were very funny) "Cultivate" came to be. So here it is, I hope you enjoy it and once I figure out how to do more with it, there will be pictures and hopefully a running list of name possibilities. *Although, names like Frompton and Malkovich are immediately disqualified.